Paulette (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} stubbornpep) wrote,@ 2005-08-30 13:01:00 |
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The other day at lunch something i heard struck a chord in me.
We were all discussing aspirations and what we used to strive for in life at a younger age compared to what we are actually doing now.
One said that he used to want to be a drummer. He loved it but then when he learned about hypnosis and self improvement, he realized that he would have to devote his time and energy into one or the other. Some people are capable of handling more than one interest and are able to succeed in both or more. But he wasn't and therefore had to give up one to fully concentrate and give his all to the other. This was the only way he could truly succeed and become accomplished in this field.
It struck a chord with me because i feel like i have so many interests in life yet have conflict within myself trying to find happiness with just one. Once i devote a lot of time to only one thing i begin to miss the other and I become depressed and I feel like a failure because I do not accomplish at either one of the interests.
And i guess it is true, some people are capable of handling more than just one interest and completely succeeding at them both. Unfortunately, i do not think i am one of these types. And I completely agree with the fact that I need to solely concentrate on one in order to fully reach that accomplished stage. Because right now I am only giving 50% to each one and the outcome of each is sadly 50% as well.
So, obviously I need to figure out what i want to do. One has to be the primary and the other can be the secondary and merely be a "hobby" or an "interest on hold" until I fully accomplish the main one. But which one?
I have music on one hand where I know i could probably succeed in a small degree if I truly applied myself for a specific amount of time. On the other hand i have the more practical side of going back to school for business and finance and getting my masters.
Both of these cannot simultaneously coincide in my life. I have tried it and all it does is make things harder because they completely clash. If i were to devote my time to music i would have to put all my money into making high quality cd's, recording about 5 more well produced songs, play shows all the time up and down the coast or as many places as I could and devote countless hours to promoting myself via emails, letters, guerilla marketing etc.
if i were to do my masters, then i would have to put my music in the backseat and it would become my past and merely always just be a hobby unless I magically am discovered by a label exec or manager that will do all the above work for me. I obviously can't rely or hope for that.
So, i am at that fork, Mr. Frost. Should I take the road less taken and risk security and the linear life for spontaneity and possible failure? Or should I give in to the world and the realistics of the society we live in and continue on my current path of security and "responsibility".
I think this entry goes along with my recent "boring life" entry.
Obviously i have much to think about.
:::SIGN OFF:::
We were all discussing aspirations and what we used to strive for in life at a younger age compared to what we are actually doing now.
One said that he used to want to be a drummer. He loved it but then when he learned about hypnosis and self improvement, he realized that he would have to devote his time and energy into one or the other. Some people are capable of handling more than one interest and are able to succeed in both or more. But he wasn't and therefore had to give up one to fully concentrate and give his all to the other. This was the only way he could truly succeed and become accomplished in this field.
It struck a chord with me because i feel like i have so many interests in life yet have conflict within myself trying to find happiness with just one. Once i devote a lot of time to only one thing i begin to miss the other and I become depressed and I feel like a failure because I do not accomplish at either one of the interests.
And i guess it is true, some people are capable of handling more than just one interest and completely succeeding at them both. Unfortunately, i do not think i am one of these types. And I completely agree with the fact that I need to solely concentrate on one in order to fully reach that accomplished stage. Because right now I am only giving 50% to each one and the outcome of each is sadly 50% as well.
So, obviously I need to figure out what i want to do. One has to be the primary and the other can be the secondary and merely be a "hobby" or an "interest on hold" until I fully accomplish the main one. But which one?
I have music on one hand where I know i could probably succeed in a small degree if I truly applied myself for a specific amount of time. On the other hand i have the more practical side of going back to school for business and finance and getting my masters.
Both of these cannot simultaneously coincide in my life. I have tried it and all it does is make things harder because they completely clash. If i were to devote my time to music i would have to put all my money into making high quality cd's, recording about 5 more well produced songs, play shows all the time up and down the coast or as many places as I could and devote countless hours to promoting myself via emails, letters, guerilla marketing etc.
if i were to do my masters, then i would have to put my music in the backseat and it would become my past and merely always just be a hobby unless I magically am discovered by a label exec or manager that will do all the above work for me. I obviously can't rely or hope for that.
So, i am at that fork, Mr. Frost. Should I take the road less taken and risk security and the linear life for spontaneity and possible failure? Or should I give in to the world and the realistics of the society we live in and continue on my current path of security and "responsibility".
I think this entry goes along with my recent "boring life" entry.
Obviously i have much to think about.
:::SIGN OFF:::
